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Held



In March of 2019, my daughter and I set out on an afternoon of photographic opportunities. At the time, I had just finished radiation treatment for breast cancer, where I had endured three surgeries in a row, one every other week in December of 2018. During this time in March of 2019, my husband was in agony dealing with Trigeminal Neuralgia and there was nothing more the docs could do for him. Talk about prayers of hope. As my daughter and I strolled the grounds of this county park, I was so drawn to the ruins, the fence post, and the wire within the fence post, but I didn’t know why. I just took the pictures.


Months later, I scrolled through the photo folder on my computer. I came across these three images and I knew I had to print them out. Next, I created a journal spread using them and I typed out the following text and printed it on vellum to place over the photos in the journal.

I took these photographs back in March of 2019. I didn’t know at the time why the post, the ruins, and the fence wire meant so much to me. A few weeks ago, I pulled them up and began really thinking about them, on God’s word, and what the meaning behind the imagery was for me. After this past year, the meaning they represent has many layers. First off, I’ll note the ruins, the weathered post, the curly-cue wire, the close up of the wire into the post, the colors of the weeds, the sky, and the time spent with my daughter taking them, all hold special meaning. The ruins are beautiful and represent that even in chaos and ruble, there is still grace and beauty.


The weathered post has stood through many storms and the aged color and texture are quite beautiful. The close up of the wire going into the post reminds me of Jesus on the cross and how through that He also holds everything together, perfectly.


I love curly-cues in nature and in natural elements, they remind me of whimsy and make me smile. They also represent simplicity and joy to me. The weeds—I have a thing for dead weeds, either in the fall or in the very late of winter, just before everything blooms again. The subtle browns always contrast so well with a blue or gray sky, as if God knows all about color theory.

I write this out on December 2, 2019. This past year has been one of difficulty, but also one where those difficulties were turned into miracles. To sum up the imagery represented here, I feel it’s a reminder that even in the rubble of circumstance, God does indeed hold us and all of it together for His glory. I’ve learned over and over again that His ways are not my own, but in His ways, there is so much beauty and grace all I can do is try and share glimpses of that beauty with the world. “He is before all things, and in Him, all things hold together.” Colossians 1:17 My husband underwent a miracle curing surgery in May of 2019, praise God. I’ve had another biopsy, and all is well, praise God. I encourage you to grab your camera and take some pictures. Create opportunities for beauty to touch your soul. I had no idea why I loved these subjects so much, I just knew they had a purpose and some sort of meaning when I took them. In time, I discovered that meaning for myself and I am so thankful we allowed the opportunities for pretty photos and great memories. Update 12/28/2020 – Well, little did I know what 2020 was going to look like. On the breast cancer front, I ended up with a reoccurrence in Aug, which resulted in a unilateral mastectomy. I am still processing and healing. Praise God, once again everything was caught very early. Thoughts on 2020 – LOVE those you love, WELL.





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